In what may sound like the brattiest statement since…well, any of Kanye’s tweets, three trips to Europe in three years had me thinking that I might want to try out a new continent. South America was a strong contender, but ultimately I couldn’t resist the hype of Southeast Asia and booked myself a ticket.
I spent the next four weeks exploring the beaches of Bali, the wilderness of Northern Thailand, the lush mountains of Laos, the capital and temples of Cambodia and the islands on both sides of the Gulf of Thailand.
My goal? To get out of my comfort zone, and in retrospect, I can certainly say that I accomplished that mission. Here are the 10 things that surprised me the most, and that I hope will make you strongly consider a trip of your own.
1. English was way more common than expected
That one was a top concern of mine, and I can’t stress enough that you’ll be fine. People love to joke that Americans only speak one language, but for the most part I find Aussies and Brits to be in the same boat. If we can all navigate our way through Southeast Asia, you can do it, too!
2. It was hot AF
Less of a surprise than a setting in of reality. You can hear a thousand times that a place will be hot, but it’s not until you’ve been nonstop sweating for four weeks (or six months…) that it will truly sink in. Air conditioning will begin to seem like more of a godsend than a mere convenience.
Edgar Allen Poe said the best things in life make you sweaty, so that’s a pretty strong endorsement for a trip to the continent!
3. Eating bugs was not just an urban myth
Ever watched your friend’s face as he struggled to down a tarantula? Brutal.
I can tell you for a fact that Friends restaurant in Phnom Penh serves up tarantula, but bugs on sticks were sold aplenty on Khaosan Road in Bangkok.
4. The kids were heartbreaking
My pre-trip research clued me in, but you can’t imagine how simultaneously annoying and heartbreaking this can be. These kids are relentless, and as politely as you say you’re not interested in buying a keychain/fan/magnet, they will not give up. But buying from them will only perpetuate the cycle of poverty in countries like Cambodia, so it’s important to resist.
5. Animal exploitation was way more common than I wanted to believe
After you come home from Southeast Asia, you won’t think it’s cool that your ex-coworker is hugging a very well-behaved tiger in their Facebook profile picture. You’ll know that they did so at the expense of a drugged up exotic animal.
Signs for elephant trekking were all over Thailand, Laos and Cambodia, and it you will be personally confronted by the volumes of animal exploitation that seem like such a faraway problem back home. Unfortunately, it’s a common reality in this part of the world.
The best thing you can do is educate fellow tourists you might encounter who are considering going to places like Tiger Kingdom. One girl I spoke to said that she immediately regretted her decision to go once she saw how small the cages were that the tigers were kept in. While I was in Thailand, the Thai police found the corpses of 40 tiger cubs in a freezer at a tourist attraction in Kanchanaburi.
6. I became weirdly frugal
No worries, this one’s only temporary. When you can get a fresh serving of Pad Thai noodles or a roti (pretty much a crepe) whipped up in front of you from a street vendor for 70 baht (less than $2 USD) you’ll start thinking $10 USD is a small fortune. If you’re facing a “big” expense – scuba diving sessions or a new suit – just shrug off your hesitation. It’s not everyday you’re hanging out in Asia!
7. 7-Eleven was my jam
The 7-Elevens back home will seem a little taken for granted once the Thai 7-Elevens – which are everywhere – become your go-to for water bottles and sunscreen. And they’re air conditioned, which means you’ll be spared three minutes of sweating balls every time you visit! Hashtag, #winning.
8. The toilets were…different
In Southeast Asia, you’ll do it all – squat over a toilet (which I’m told is an upgrade from some of the hole-in-the-ground deals that other parts of the world have to offer) and figure out that there’s not a handle – to flush, use a bucket to dump water into the bowl until everything is gone.
I’ll never forget flushing the toilet at a homestay in Pakbeng, Laos and thinking that it didn’t work because the water was still yellow. Then I flushed again and realized that’s just the color of the water in Pakbeng.
9. The massage life was the good life
Getting a massage a day is not a dream, it’s the dream. And if you take just one thing away from this, let that be it.
Nowhere else can you get an amazing massage for under $10 pretty much whenever you feel like it. Thai massage is quite an experience. You’ll have bruises to show for it. And despite all the jokes your friends back home will make, most of them are not whorehouses in disguise (but if you’re looking for that, Bangla Road in Phuket’s got you covered).
A lot of massage parlors in Southeast Asia also offered Swedish massages, sports massages, and other alternatives. It’s pretty bomb. My favorite massage places were:
- Shewa in Bangkok (really nice facilities, right off of Khaosan Road)
- Sang Spa in Ubud (nice facilities, 1 of 3 locations – this one nearest to the Monkey Forest)
- Massage Station in Koh Tao (my muscles got worked). Sadly they don’t seem to be on the internet aside from their Facebook page. It’s across the street from Taco Shack hostel.
10. Haggling was a really fun art
I expected to get schooled at haggling, and wasn’t sure I’d be any good at it – namely because I thought I’d need to speak Thai to haggle like a boss (see #1). Lowball, and don’t be afraid to walk away. Once you let them know you really want the item, you’ve lost.
But, if it comes down to a 20 baht difference (which is less than a dollar) don’t get grudgy. Just let ’em have it. Because if you don’t bring your friends back home Jack Daniels bro tanks and neon pink bracelets that say “Wolf Pack,” what kind of friend are you?
Southeast Asia is an unpredictable but mostly beautiful place to visit. Going from a place like the COPE Visitor Center in Laos to the fire show drinking game spectacle of Koh Phi Phi in a few days’ time is quite a transition. If you’re willing to let in everything these places have to offer, you’ll have an experience to remember.
And one more thing – if you haven’t looked out the window from the Elephant Crossing Hotel in Vang Vieng, Laos and seen this view, what are you waiting for?
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